FINDING THE LOVE IN A LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP

I've always had "good genes". Growing up, my weight floated just under or at 100 lbs. Never much more. I was a light and didn't have to do much to keep the weight off but it didn't mean I was healthy—it meant I was lucky. And I was young. I was a cheerleader for 10 years, had a trainer for a short time after college (to shed the college pounds) but never had to work too hard for that youthful slim body. I'm now 30 and I'm feeling changes in places I never had to pay much attention to. 

Yes, I'm a one-woman show running my own fully-operating business but no excuses, I'm aware of what's going on with my body and how it's effecting me. I've put motivation for my health and body aside for the adrenaline rush to launch Bash. But in order for me to continue and grow this business successfully, I need to take care of myself just like I do Bash.

And I am aware of the positive effects on my overall health, when I make the time to exercise. It's noticeably worth all the effort. I have a positive self-image and that directly effects many very important aspects in my life. I have more energy during the day and I sleep better at night. I can focus on my body and my career. I'm also more present in more parts of my life. I'm aware of my physical and mental strengths and weaknesses, which makes room for improvement. Yoga allows me to do have some of this, but I find running less welcoming. 

I never ran before 3 years ago. I was going through a tough breakup. I was devastated so I thought I'd use learning how to run to clear my mind. Running never came naturally to me. I wasn't born a runner nor did it flow through my veins. It required me to dig real deep, which gave running the opportunity to become my coping mechanism. I didn't need to loose weight at the time. Running allowed me to take back my life. I was going out for 4-5-6-mile runs throughout the week. I was in love with how running made me feel. For the first time I felt like I deserved the healthy body I had. I was in the best shape of my life.  

Then, someone amazing came into my life—Jake. Running does come naturally for him and it does flow through his veins. He was one of the firsts to join the Boston-based health and fitness mobile app, RunKeeper. Jake genuinely loves to run. About 4 months into our relationship, I tore up my knee in a fluke water skiing accident. After months of physical therapy, I could have either pushed myself back into running or slip back in my old ways. I chose the latter. I was happy and there was nothing to cure or cope with running.

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But after a two-year hiatus, I'm now training for my first race! I think it's about time I pay attention to my health now that I've entered my third decade. However, I'm finding it very tough. My RunKeeper training plan tells me how much to run and when, but it doesn't feel the same. I'm struggling with every step and I can't seem to break through the wall. I really want to love my body again and although I can't use a breakup as my motivation, I feel like I've broken up with running. I'm realizing that it's going to require the same amount of work I put into Bash to get to a place where I love running again. It has to be all about improving my focus, my life, and relationships so . . .

I'M TAKING BACK CONTROL OVER MY ABILITY TO ROCK MY BODY.

Here I go. . .

Stay tuned for my training updates and please share your stories with me too!

x K


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